You know what’s the problem of an atheist like me besides the social stigma entwined with it and the sarcastic curiosity I get from people? Its the annoying tendency of my mind to be irrationally skeptical and suspicious to everything! Absolutely everything!
I went to a machine shop near my house yesterday to inquire about how to convert my motorcycle wheel’s rear drum break into fluid-based disk break system. So there, I approached the rad, oil-smeared dude working on a client’s bike and he explained just about everything to accomplish what I want. No problem I said. The materials, the cost, the tools, the time it will take to convert it, everything was fine to me until thoughts suddenly popped out of the blue: is this rad, oil-smeared dude competent enough to work with my bike? Does he have an engineering degree to back up his mechanical skills? Does he have enough experience in this job of converting a delicate part of a machine from one form to another? Those thoughts, you know, is what I’m going to be slapped for when I dare try to put it into words. Bakit pa ako nagtanong in the first place kung hindi naman pala ako magtitiwala, dbaaaaa? So I ended up deciding to just forget about it for the moment. All because of suspicion and my fear that it will not turn out to what I want and my money just being wasted.
It all boils down to the skepticism I adopted when I realized I have agnostic tendencies. Question everything or be a victim of authority, I chant. When I say everything, it means freaking everything. Its all encompassing to the point that even a cupcake given to me by a child as a gesture of goodwill is a subject of my suspicion: saan nya kaya kinuha to; baka bulok na to; baka may lason to? Hell, I blame this superstition to my lack of superstition! Its ironic as fuck isn’t it?