Most of the people that I’ve met and became part of my life – friends, colleagues , classmates, acquaintances, exes – are either having great careers, getting married and raising kids, travelling, or just having the best out of their lives. Being always the cynic and asshole that is myself, I just don’t care hahahaha! Kidding. Of course I’m happy for them. I’m glad some of them are now in the place where they wanted to be and I never forget to give some inspirational words for those who are still struggling. What annoys me though is the usual pang-aasar I get from couples around. “Ikaw Lean, kailan ka magpapakasal?”. Those kind of questions, it vexes me. That’s why when they tease me about my apparent lack of relationship with someone I say pake ko sa inyo hahaha and we will all laugh about it. “I’m an awful punk, gals loath me”, I will say when they inquire why I don’t date girls. That’s how I see myself. “I’m a below average dude who loves the kind of music your mom hate” I’ll further explain. In reality, I am still the bread winner of my family. I’m still helping my mother in our monthly bills and I’m financing my younger brothers in finishing school so that when they graduate, they will help me in return to finish my own studies. But beyond that, there’s a deeper reason why I decided to stay the way I am right now: young, wild and free. For one, I’m madly in love with a stenographer that just can’t be mine, at least, yet. She’s all I ever want. No other woman but her. Call me crazy but the real reason why, at my age, I’m still unmarried and at school is because I want to be on these someday:
Yes, I want to be a freaking Astronaut. Wala akong pake kung gaano man katagal or kung hindi man ako makapag-asawa at magka-anak or mawala man sa akin ang lahat in the process. I want to go up there. I want to be one of those guys with the mission patch in their arms. I want to fly the flag of the Philippines in orbit. I want to take a selfie, with the entire Earth as the background, in space. I want to go to places beyond the Moon. I want to reach the stars.
I’m crazy isn’t it? My friends and colleagues are getting maried na and here I am, nangangarap lang ng gising?